痛苦

finally, we got a very very nice (A grade) supervisor for our fyp (Final Year Proj)
just 1 point to show how nice she is here. she is so natural in front of us, even put her legs on her table while chatting with us. i love her! nikki rocks!

everyone in e team want to do our fyp well, make it our proud, with our full passion n energy

but things never go just as smooth and as easy as you hope. it just never.

i have to HAVE TO have to face e FACT that e topic, which i personally strongly feel it's meaningful n for justice of certain group of people, is not viable for now. i have to keep reminding myself to accept this n stop hoping for doing it.

n we have plenty of other topics. r we getting the list of topics because we try so hard to fish / have / get a topic? i dont like e way we meeting all these topics... it's like you write for the sake of writing, you read for the sake of examination. oh no...

i prefer to ask myself, if there's only 1 documentary i can do in my life, what will i dedicate it for?

if it is very personal one. probably about my family. my parents n grandparents. sometime we need this kind of 'occasional' opportunity to get deep in touch with e people whom we r supposedly so close with yet we know them so poorly.

for i m doing e docu with a team... we need to think for others.

is GLBT a good idea? will my dearest darling disagree with me (who he perceived immature n too stupid to protect myself) doing on GLBT?

why GLBT?
1. i believe their choices is either they were born with it or they were shaped by their environment (of course, my belief is based on e people i met)
2. even they dont know, and i also dont know why they make such choices, i dont think their choices is 'wrong'. they just have different choices. they r not raping each other, but loving and caring for whom they naturally fond of.

for these two simple and direct reasons, it is enough for me to do something for them. hopefully, they will be happier living their loved ones, not only their 'darling', but also their parents, siblings, relatives whom they love deeply always, no matter what their choices are.

if u have heard how people in other countries working so hard n liveing so thriftyly to get money to get their operation done. if u ve heard how those educated elites behind me smuckles when they think they are morally higher than GLBT, simply because they are straight. when u know he is gay n he needs to say 'gays r disgusting' in front of so many people because that's dominant morality in our society, did you ever think about how he feels? what if there r laughters when he says this....?

oh no...