being away is luxurious
how should i put it. the benefits of moving away from the old and into the new and unknown is basically like you get to reshuffle the whole set of cards, and pick up what you want, rearrange things the way you would ideally like it. isn't it a luxury?
start from scratch, they say.
it is quite literal and figurative at the same time. atleast in our case, we literally have nothing and no one to rely on. we walked the streets to understand what were available there. we learnt from waiting, misjudgment, friendships that happened by chance (consider we do not have "gang" from school, work, religion, ethnicity or nationality), and pure chances and opportunities.
now we had moved for around 1.75 years. we still have yet to attach ourselves with any group of religion, culture, or nationality. when i sometimes felt the inexplicable need to join this group or that, deep inside me, i asked myself what does Malaysian (or Singaporean) really mean, and why do people want to be together simply because they came from the same country, even though their hometowns could be quite different to the extent that they didnt even speak the same language back home.
anyway, on a more superficial or practical level, i understand how your countrymen could bring you the familiar taste and dishes, and they could share with you the paths they had taken before you. i guess, the deeper question which i couldnt answer kind of just hindering me to take action to meet and join them.
on another level, the new friends we are connected with and comfortable with and even missing them, what connects us are nothing else but who i am, who he is, and who she is. i mean, his or her values, characters, strengths and weaknesses. we are not friends because we went to the same school or we moved from the same place. we are friends because i truly appreciate him/her as a person and friend, and he/she probably enjoys my company as much as i do with hers.
that's another luxury a new place brings. some new friendships established purely on the basis of who you are as a person, how you treat others, how you listen, how you ask, how you act and react. nothing else but me and you that brought us tgt.
being away of course gives you space to re-look at yourself, your life, and re-define what needs to be defined again. this is probably the biggest luxury of being away. as the people from the old place do not have enough information about your new environment, you get to move around freely, make your own decisions with next to zero worry about their expectations coz they have none. i worked jobs i had wanted to try but didnt get to previously. since i had been there and done it, i felt i had proved to myself that i can do it, now or later, here or wherever, as long as i set my mind to do it. i got to do volunteer work where i am still amazed every time i see colleagues give their time and expect nothing in return of their effort, sweats, and tears.
so, it is the 4th last night before i sleep alone in a foreign land where i dont actually speak their local language. i want to see if i can manage these weeks independently, responsibly, professionally, being cautious and open minded at the same time. hope my journey broaden my experience, my view, my capability. and i hope this is a start to something wonderful for the people around me.
being away is fantastic.
