1 week 3 nights - 忙碌的结婚前夕

Bad...我果然不能成为伟大的人，没能自律规律写东西

话说前几晚，老公看着我们非一般的婚纱摄影馆的其他作品，说：看了其他人的照片，觉得我们的其实不怎样

: ) 亲爱的，美怎么会有止境呢？

在我心中，我们用美丽的心情筹备度过那一天是最最重要的啦

而我知道，你会make it happen

在你面前的我，有时候实在很令人厌恶吧

比如说：＂你好烦＂
比如说，很想你注意我
比如说，听起来就是一个压力很大不开心的人
再比如，听起来超级没笑容，好想你欠我超级多钱似的

我不明白，为什么对自己用心用情，宠爱，呵护，谦让，体贴，原谅，倾心的人
为什么我对你却这么不好呢？

我想
了
又想

是不是最最真实的我，就是如此不堪的
也许是这样，大概是这样吧

所以，为了要对对自己用心用情，宠爱，呵护，谦让，体贴，原谅，倾心的人更好
唯有努力变成更好的人
嗯


噢，你说，穷，好穷
嗯。是这样没有错
是个问题，好像
不过，不是最大的问题，好像

爱你。让我拥有很多。包括相信我们会很好
生活很好
好好生活


幸运的我
2012。2。23

2 weeks 6 nights - choosing wedding gowns

Two busy days have passed. These two days the main achievement was to select my gowns for wedding day.

I tried about 10 dresses, in order to choose 2 out of them. because I slept very little at the night of Friday. On sat, I really felt exhausted half way trying. How exhausted actually feel like? I began to feel it wasn't fun to try anymore dresses. So I stopped. I really had to. Or else, I wouldn't love any dresses I put on then, and it would be a waste of two jiejies' effort who helped me choosing dresses, and got me insider the dresses.

Anyway, that afternoon was fun one at the end. With two friends who were there for dress trying as well (this is very cool! My frien & his fiancé were trying wedding outfits at the same time with us). After my break, the dresses I tried on became more ... Wao for laogong. So my energy level slowly got higher.

I left without deciding which two dresses to take around 8pm (aft 3 hrs there). & four of us went for dinner. The dinner talking was mostly about wedding. My fren is going to have two big ones in two different places. We heard them discussed things we had discussed before, or problems we don't really have.

Sunday, I woke up beside my laogong. This isn't something I can enjoy everyday since he has left to work in Penang. This is stil a moment I like. I touched him gently and slowly, and his eyes opened just after one stroke of touch.

Back to the story of wedding dresses, my studio called me asking if I can confirm my dress as all the ones I tried would be on hold, and no other brides can try them before I decide. Oh. I didn't know that. So over phone I quickly confirmed one. And ... The 2nd one, I can't confirmed.

Over that csll, a gOOd news from Sasa, who is one of the jiejies who work in my studio, they are giving me one more dress. Woo, they are generous! I thought. And I am very grateful.

So by end of the day. I had all 3 dresses confirmed. Cool. I like all 3 of them. Except one of them is really challenging to wear. You will see it when the day comes.

The best moment: I will wear one white gown in the morning, when I have my Chinese traditional ceremony. Tea. Guo Men (I.e. married into the family). And we were back the the studio again on Sun, trying to decide which white gown is the one. Yuers jiejie asked, which one? And I said, i am married to loon that morning, so I wanna wear the one he likes the most, let him decide. Then, looking at loon, both of us looked towards him. He said, I wanna she to wear the one she likes the most, so let her pick the one.

Ohhh... That's really, really sweet of him. And he's really thoughtful 体贴 to me 99.99% of the time. This is definitely one of the many moments he showered me with his love gently. So, I will wear my chosen one in the morning. And I'm sure he loves the first dress I'm going to wear during that night. He said, he had 100 WaoS when he saw me in my very last dress tried on.

Thank you, my studio, Enya Mareine. The jiejies, gogos, who work there. They are like friends to me.

And of course, my dear laogong, who makes everything a little better, only because he wants me to feel the best.

Thanks.

3 weeks 2 nights. -- sleeping

je suis tres fatigue aujourd'hui
i'm just too tired today


i m very sleepy today. i slept on the train, standing

i have not been able to do that for long. the last was when i was in high school, i guessed.
making myself feel tired, this tired, is good. feel alive again :) haha

talking about sleepy, because i'm sleepy now as well.
today 'memory' blog will be short.

one or two very, very close friends, siblings might have known this

when we were in Uni, where i met and fell in love with loon.
i somehow created this ... i call it a ritual for now

back track a little bit, i remember when i was even younger, in high school year.
i sort of had this understanding of myself. i thought, if one day, i found a lover or  'i m attached' (in lay man term)
i knew (i thought) i would trust him wholeheartedly. i would want to be with him a lot, a lot. because i had been deprived of him or any romantic love all the time before i met him

so, when i was in Uni, i remember, i was always the one who would feel sleepy first, and the one who would sleep earlier. so not sure when and how did it start.

at night, when i'm about to sleep, and if loon and i happened to just finish walking, chatting, da da da...
i would lie down in my bed, ask him to sit at the side of my bed. i would continue talking to him, holding one of his hand, till i fall sleep.

thus, there were many many nights, i went into sleep this way.
to me, this is a kind of happiness.

3 weeks 3 nights away from 3 Mar 2012 - daily blog no.1

how do u feel? - my friend asked

how do i feel? - i think i need to ask my inner self

i  remember, the first time i looked at him, he was at the door.

he was at door of a bus. the bus was receiving all of us who were the freshmen of NTU from Malaysia. he was manning our bus, responsible for getting these young sheep safe and sound to the campus.

i didnt know whom he was speaking too. he looked outward, talking to someone. So i saw him, standing at the door of bus. i saw his left face only. i remember his hair had a little bit of gold. shinning.

do you find the guy at the front door good looking - my good friend Ng asked me.

oh. friend. you have known me for many years. you know i always like guy who looks a bit like street artist, busker, have long hairs... he is not my type. - i answered

our conversation was that short, i believed. and we were referring to him from the last and second last row of that bus.

that was the moment i first took a look at him.

my good friend asked me to.