aug19 complicated : |

en... reading havent done
en... also need to read more on them so that i understand them better, so that i can do something good for them and for myself
en... sat is going to be like a brand new start for me...
en... the campus part-time job i was applying all this while didnt go smooth in the end... i m bounced to 0 income agian, if i m this picky : (
en... sth good happened to me, He claiming he is my laoda called n told me about his new arrangement. i assume the new arrangment shows that he has faith in me. n i m happy about it. but, when i swithed on my phone just now n read e two messages came in, i m hurt by deardear's message. unexpectedly and sadly, he is unhappy with the new arrangement

sis actually won 3rd prize yest in her singing contest~~~~~ i m very very excited to know that. so do dear dear. dear dear even said that he wants to give sis kaiyun a treat. however, according to sis, mama is too cool when she heard the news. sis is pretty dissappointed because of mama's coolness. i fully understand how she felt, as i felt so before.

i cant explain. why the dearest people around you dont react in the way you hope. .. maybe we care them too much, and they care us too much. so much so that they cant see what others see in something we are happy about. mama cant share kaiyun's excitement and sense of achievement, while kaiyun actually loves mama so so much, n wishes that mama can give her just a word of encouragement or praise? neither can dear dear shares my simple happiness in knowing that i m given more opportunities to on-air, though i hope u do just as e sikeng n jessie do.

i m sorry, my dear friends who are reading this. i cant give u any good feelings in this blog. i cant ... n hopefully my not-so-good mood doesnt infect you at all.

i m tired now. n i feel i ve lots undone stuffs. fortunately, i ve friends whom are easy n feel good to be with. we chat about films, about fyps... so on and so forth.

baba mama, i love u. kaixiang, kairik, kaiyun, kaihui, i love you. dear, i love you. my friends, i love you. kaixuan, i love you for trying hard to be whom you want to be.

keep it on...'buck up' (this the word dear dear would use)