let me talk to myself

How r u?

Actually pretty tired now. But let's finish what I'd like us to finish asap?

: ) Sure.
How do we start then?

Oh. It's easy. Start from today, now, present is always the easiest way to start a conversation,dude.

Right, so, how do you feel now? Happy? Satisfied with your life?

Wooh. Big question dear. I feel I need a change. A change of job to be specific. It's not that the job is inherently bad, it's just that it doesnt gratify my needs, my desires, my thirst or my dreams... So, on one hand, pretty grateful that the little amount I'm earning enables me to pay off my debt bit by bit. Also, it's my say on how much I should 'save' & give back to family. That's the major good part though.
Btw, looking at my bosses, even they own the business, doing something they supposedly enjoy the most. Yet, I'm not sure how happy they are with themselves on a scale from 1 to 10. Anyway, to me, I simply thinks that there must be another job that suits me better. Well, you think so?

I do agree. So, dont be lazy. Go actively find out the one, okay?

Cool. I just need to be more self-disciplined to always absorb a little bit more to become better, & to do fulfill the tasks I set for myself.

girl, you sound so strict to yourself. that's a bit scary. hehe

haha. I 'sound' so, that's it.

well, btw, I know that your mind is still boggling with the question your colleague post to you yest?

haha. you know me. He simply asked, what's your interest, Vinn? Well, ppl in the office call me Vinn if you wonder who is that, haha. And ya, I was pretty dumbfounded at the moment. Firstly, I dont know what to answer for the present self. Secondly, I'm so shocked that I couldn't answer such a question about myself. If I was in school, I could have easily given a list of things, isnt it? I asked myself another question instantly.
I think I answered him, Reading. That's pretty much the only thing I do only for myself, I guess. I watch movies, but not frequent. I listen to music, but pretty selective. I swim a bit. I rarely jog anymore. I hardly play piano anymore. I go for concerts on and off. Of course, I listen to radio, but is that my interest? Maybe it's beyond 'interest'.
anyway, I then mentioned this question & answer to my darling later the evening.I shared the 3 stuffs I do most after works are doing housechores, reading & lastly watching SCV. WTH~~~ I changed, unknowingly.
Dear, I'm a bit scared, a bit worried, a bit unwilling to continue changing this way. You understand me?

dear, you will be fine. I know you. You will get back on track pretty soon. I do know it : ) you're kaixuan.

thanks. i guess i will. loon will help also. he's definitely better & stronger than the yesterday him. and I'd not be too much lousier than him. this scare & worrythat I'm feeling is simply a safety net that exists to protect myself.
and finally, after such lengthy rambling from me. How are you, friend?

i'm good. i guess i have inevitably become prettier again, and more cheerful & stress-free. thanks to everything that happened around me. and I still enjoy observing kids. and i still love music. and i ... am still myself. and i've you to talk to. n my friends whom i know they care about me. btw, a good friend of mine is leaving for somewhere to pursue something. i'm pretty glad to know that she's actually quite following what she wants. n i wish to congrate her in person when the day comes. and you know what, it's 12.42. i'm losing my brain power... haha. let's say good night this time. nice chat, dear. i'll see you soon?

soon? nope. i'm not sure about that. we will meet again when time is ripe. i love u

i love u too. definitely.

: )

: >

night

selamat malam~